Easter Bunny Holdup
by crazy2696
Summary: After asking Riza out, Roy takes her to a resturant but something really wierd happens. What is it?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ooh! Yay, I've gotten who knows how many hits/ visitors (You know, I still have no idea what the difference is between those…), I've decided to not care about reviews anyways. Don't get me wrong- I still would like them but since no one is really posting any of them then…yeah. Go check out my new poll! It's who your favorite couple is. Sorry about the long A/N, but I think I will make this longer than an oneshot. I hope you like it! XD!**

ROY POV

"For the last time, GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!!" I yelled, but Maes just smiled and made no sign of leaving. I sighed in frustration, who knows how many times we had had this conversation. It was like a daily ritual; Maes would come in my office and then shove some picture of Elicia in my face then corner me in _my_ office and ask me why I hadn't asked Riza out.

It's not that I wouldn't…more that I didn't want to face the prospect of rejection. I always got any women I wanted, but Riza wasn't ordinary…she was…more than that. But it's not like I could explain this to Maes, best friend or not, it just embarrassing.

"Just answer my question!! You know, that's the only way you'll get rid of me." He replied smugly. I sighed; there was only one way to get rid of him without answering his question. And it was going to suck. I got up and made to get to my office door when he started to block the door.

"Maes. Move out of the way or I'll burn the door down along with you!" I threatened, Maes could be so annoying.

"You wouldn't dare. You'd have to explain to the higher ups why you need a new door and then what will you say? 'Well I'm sorry, I was trying to get out of answering why I wouldn't ask my crush out and I lost my patience and burnt the door down and- hey! Where are you going?" he said. I had managed to slip out while he was rambling on.

I ran out the door and tried to figure out how I would do the unnerving task ahead when I ran smack into Riza, with a huge stack of papers in her hands. Crap. The papers went everywhere and I would have helped her pick them up but unfortunately, that would require me to get closer to her if she pulled out her gun.

"Um. Sorry Riza. I'll get those for you…" I trailed off as she straightened up. I backed away but she just sighed, and started picking up the papers. I cautiously bent down and picked up the papers when right when I was going to get the nerve up and ask her out, Maes came and started questioning Riza.

"So, Riza, how come you don't-"

"What do you want Maes?" she interrupted, annoyed.

"I just want to know why you don't date?" Oh great.

"Maes! Don't start as-"

"Well, it's because it would a be too much of a distraction, and you shouldn't be asking such personal question anyways." She replied, putting the papers on my desk. Argh. More paperwork! I swear, where does she get all the boring stuff from? It's endless!

Suddenly it hit me what Maes was hinting to.

"Maes, don't." I warned. He flashed me a confused look, like he didn't know what I was talking about.

"Well, what about Roy. He wouldn't distract you from your job would he?" he asked cheerfully and I groaned inwardly. The look on Riza's face though was pretty funny. It was shock, and then annoyed, then finally settled on amused.

"Maes. I would appreciate if you leave now. Roy needs to get his work done, and I do too." She said. But he didn't stop.

"Come on Riza? Why not? He's a great guy! The hero of Ishval!" he cried. I finally had enough.

"MAES! Out! NOW!" I then proceeded to force him out of my office by threatening to burn his pictures of Elicia. That worked amazingly fast. I sighed, and then turned around to find Riza trying not to laugh.

"What's so funny!?" I asked.

"Nothing, just the way you handled that. Threats always work." She said, smiling. I was too annoyed to say anything further so I went back to my desk to start on my nonstop flow of paperwork.

**Ugh. Sorry for such a boring chapter. I think I am going to make this into 3 or more chapters. All leading up to my original idea, hopefully I can finish it before Easter. Review (though honestly, this story doesn't deserve any…) please!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Gah!! I am sooo sorry I took forever with this, I haven't had much time on the computer and I don't really like this story so I am kind of putting it last on my to do list, so sorry. I was waiting for someone to send me a pm for not updating yet, but sadly it doesn't look like people care that much…oh well. I don't really care. I have no idea when the next chapter will be up so just be patient.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned FMA, I would not waste my time writing fanfictions. Don't get me wrong, I love fanfictions, but if I owned it…sadly it belongs to Hiromu Arakawa.**

ROY POV

I got to work annoyingly early the next day, so naturally Riza was surprised.

"Good Morning sir didn't expect you to be here so early." She said.

"There's nothing good about it Lieutenant." I grumbled, I didn't get any sleep last night and she was inadvertently responsible. I spent most of the night trying to figure out how to ask her out when I decided to just be blunt about it.

"Well, there's a new stack of paperwork to be done, so you might as well get an early start on it." She suggested, pointing to the pile on my desk. I groaned inwardly and sat down. I sat there for who knows how long when I realized that Maes would be coming in soon. Just then the door burst open.

"Speak of the devil, and the devil shall appear." I muttered as Maes approached me.

"So Roy, get yourself a wife yet? I mean Gracia and I were talking about that last night, how you were so afraid of commitment and all the-"

"Ugh! Maes I am not afraid of commitment and is it really your business whether or not I have or want a wife?" I asked. I wanted him to leave, so I could do what I was trying to do in the first place, except that he kept interrupting! Quite ironic now that you think about it, he was preventing me from doing exactly what he wanted me to do in the first place.

"Well, this is a special circumstance and I personally think that because I am your friend I am merely obligated to he-" Maes was cut off by the door opening, and a young major stuck his head in saying-

"Brigadier General Sir, you are wanted by Lt. Scoff immediately." He said, saving me from a conversation with this mad man. Maes sighed disappointed and left closing the door behind him. Inside I was having a field day, and I as went back to work I thought of a way I could ask her. Of course! I forgot, I could ask her at lunch time!

I quick thought up an idea and said to her, "Lieutenant? Would you please stay and eat lunch here, I have some questions I need to go over with you." She looked puzzled but agreed. I looked up at the clock and waited for the hands to strike twelve.

Finally it was lunch and I walked over to Riza's desk, not sure how to begin.

"What exactly do you need help on sir?" she asked curious. I looked down unsure.

"Uh well…I actually….just um…wanted to ask you something…kind of…personal…" Jeez, what was wrong with me? Stammering, blushing, I never acted this way!

"Fine, what do you want sir." She sighed, looking up at me a little annoyed.

"Um, I was uh…wondering if you would like to accompany me…to dinner tonight?" I asked, rushing the last part. I felt her penetrating gaze on me and tried to turn away but she grabbed my arm to prevent me from doing so.

"Well, jeez. You don't have to be all embarrassed. You're acting like a teenage boy asking his crush out. What happened to 'Playboy Roy'?" she said teasingly.

"Wait a minute, does that mean yes?" I asked excited. She just laughed, and what a beautiful laugh it was. I didn't get to hear it very often.

"Yes, I would very much so like to go with you." She said, even dropping the professional tone. Something she never did. I cheered inwardly, but on the outside smirked and walked back to my desk.

**A/N: I feel like barfing. Blech, so anyways I think maybe one more chapter…I don't know if it will be two. I can see two, so right now I will say two more chapters. I promise it will turn funny in the next chapter. As always, review, all comments welcomed, even flames. Though try to refrain from flames…please? I already know this story sucks; I don't need anyone else telling me that. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Finally!! The third chapter is up!! Thanks for all the hits!! 1,156!!! I am so happy. And I even got 8 reviews! Yeah, it may not sound like a lot, but when I can normally only get like 2, that's a lot. So here is the third chapter, and I will decide while I am writing it whether or not it will be the last. Some comedy or at least I hope you find it funny, in this chapter. My friend and I are weird; most of this chapter's plot is credited and dedicated to Moony0!! (By the way, I have a poll up. GO CHECK IT OUT!! Or I'll get my good friend the Easter Bunny-see below- to attack you!)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA except the weirdo/evil/psycho Easter bunny in this story. THE EASTER BUNNY HATES YOU!! (Seriously, have any of you seen that? If not, go to YouTube and type it in…weird…kind of scary/funny.)**

**RIZA POV**

It was 6:59 and I was tapping my foot nervously, why I accepted his offer was a mystery. I think I was too delirious with the fact that Roy had asked me out, to register what I was saying. Certainly the smirk he wore for the rest of the day was annoying. My fault, not his. At precisely 7:00 the doorbell rang and I jumped up, grabbed my bag and half ran to the door, eager for the night to start.

"Why hello Riza, may I say you look very nice tonight." Roy said, and I felt a blush cover my face.

"Thank you…Roy. You don't look too bad yourself." I replied, blushing even more. He smirked and then offered his arm out to me and I gladly took it. "So, where are we going?" I asked, curious.

"Well, there's this place I was thinking of going to this place called _Le __Pâques Lapin_. It's supposed to be quite good." He said smiling.

"Okay, well we'll be the judge of that won't we?" I said, not knowing why I was being so formal. We reached the restaurant after a surprising short amount of time and walked in. The waitress walked us to our table and we sat down, making short talk. "So Roy, why did you ask me out?" I asked.

**ROY POV**

Riza looked quite stunning in her red dress. Not that she didn't always, but it really emphasized it. I was surprised when she asked me why I had asked her. Did she not want me too?

"Well, you know, I have always kind of…liked you…" I said, fighting the urge to blush. She blushed and looked down. "I mean, I was worried you wouldn't like me too, like you only saw me as a co-worker…" I murmured, not knowing why I was telling her this. She still wouldn't meet my eyes and that bothered me. "Riza," I said. She looked up.

"What?" she said softly.

"Answer me, do you think of me as just your co-worker? A friend?"

"No, Roy. I don't. I honestly don't, I was really happy that you asked me. I was beginning to think you didn't like me. That all of your girlfriends, you liked better than me." She said.

"Of course not! Never." I said, outraged that she would even think that. To prove my point, I leaned closer and whispered, "So, you're willing to be my girlfriend?" She nodded and I was about to kiss her when a loud bang came from the front of the restaurant followed by a several screams.

**RIZA POV**

I looked around and couldn't believe what I saw. A person dressed in a huge Easter Bunny costume waiving a gun and shouting in a very crazed voice,

"Everybody down! Now! This is a holdup!" he, from the sound of the voice, shot a bullet in the ceiling and more people screamed. I looked over to Roy who was pulling his gloves out of his pockets. I grabbed my gun from my purse, but before I could do or say anything to Roy, he snapped making the guy set on fire. He screamed and ran around a couple times before dropping to the ground, attempting the stop, drop and roll technique. I don't know which emotion was stronger, laughter or annoyance.

"Hey! Stay where you are!" Roy shouted, as the Bunny got up, and ran towards the back of the restaurant. People scattered, and ran out the restaurant. I didn't realize what he was trying to do until I saw the fire extinguisher. He sprayed himself, leaving the fire out, but also showing huge chunks of burnt fake fur, and even holes in some places like…ugh. I didn't need to see that. Roy snapped again, but the Bunny had his gun again and was able to dodge the flames. Crap.

"You missed! AHAHAHAHA!!!" he screamed pointing the gun at Roy. I grabbed my gun and shot at the Bunny, hitting his ears, leaving holes in them.

"YOU BITCH!" he screamed, running at me. What a psycho thing… I shot one more time, and got him in the arm. He screamed and fell to the ground when other military officers ran in and handcuffed him. They had difficulty removing him, due to the fact that he was crying on the floor, clutching his arm. I looked around for Roy, and found him. He ran over to me and said,

"Are you okay?"

"Well, physically I am fine, but mentally…I don't think I will ever be able to look at an Easter Bunny without thinking…well. You know."

"Yeah…" he said, shaking his head. We left the restaurant, leaving the bunny to the other officers and Roy started walking towards my house.

"What a weird night, I must say that certainly one of the strangest." Roy said.

"Including the time you and Havoc found that pack of bacon and started playing 'Dollhouse'? Yeah. It is." I said. He stopped at my door and an awkward silence.

"Well…umm. Thanks for that…umm…"

"Wait. There's something I wanted to do." He said, cutting in. He leaned closer and then we were kissing. I clutched him closer when he started to pull away, but he was too strong.

"Thanks." I said, smiling at him, knowing that he would understand. All in all, I won't say that it wasn't the worst night, actually on the better ones.

**Come on, laugh with me! What a crazy bunny. Let's see how well you know your French! What was the name of the restaurant? That is right! The Easter Bunny! Anyways, I am done with this story! FINALLY!!! Review please!!!**


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